It’s not easy parenting a preteen or teenage girl. It’s not easy being one, either. For the girl, it’s an emotional stage of growth, and for the parent or caregiver, it can be very trying. But there’s also potential for increased closeness and intimacy; after all, she’s growing older, and she understands more, and your relationship with her can develop into something beautiful and more mature. Daughters are such gifts, especially when this happens.
What does she need from you? How are you able to give it? These are questions that are unique for each person, but there’s a common thread here. All people have an emotional need for intimacy. In children, this need is first and foremost met by the parents. As children grow older, their siblings and extended family contribute in this process. Friends become more important as the child grows older. By the time girls enter their teen years, their friendships are usually vitally important to them.
But does this mean their need for parenting diminishes? No, not at all. They need us just as much, but in a different way. They need support, encouragement, boundaries, listening, and of course, love. How does this differ from their earlier years? How do we change our parenting to meet the needs of an older child?
Being present is important, and that can take different forms. Maybe going online with your preteen and watching that new movie trailer that she can’t wait to see. Or spending time as she shows you her latest Minecraft invention. Or looking into her eyes and really trying to listen as she tells you about her latest science project or bus episode; not trying to fix it; just listening with love. Everyone needs to be listened to, and this is one way to show someone you are there for them. It can mean silently taking over the kitchen when something explodes in the microwave and she bursts into tears, or not criticising when she knows she’s made a mistake. Or how about apologizing when we’ve made a mistake and trying to do better next time? Or thanking her when she helped her little sister so you could get your work done?
Discipline, yes, but also kindness. Speaking in a kind tone of voice when we delineate the chores she needs to do, instead of making it sound like a list of demands. Then throwing out a positive comment here and there as she does those chores, especially before we need to make a correction.
Things like this require effort on the parents’ part, and maybe some sacrifice.
It’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day stress that we can forget what’s really important. Teens girls often like to talk at inconvenient times, like when we want to go to bed, or as we are getting in the car to go somewhere. If we can’t listen right then, maybe we can give them a time we can. It’s a question of mutual respect and balance.
If our girls get the emotional support they need from home, they will be much more equipped to handle their teen world, and much less likely to seek that support from sources that might not be good for them. As parents and caregivers, this should be near the top of our priority list. And a little reminder from time to time is a good thing.
We believe our girls are gifts, even during the sometimes stormy teen and preteen years. At Just4GirlsComforterSets.com, we strive to support parents and caregivers in the parenting process. Our girls comforters sets are an easy way to help create a beautiful and nurturing home environment for your teen or preteen girl.